ConfusedHonesty

My whole life I was always pleasing others, serving others, and making others feel good & loved.  I didn't mind, I was conditioned to just not mind.  Conditioned to just be a "good girl."  Do right by people, and assumed they'd love me back the same way.  Feeling like I have an abundant amount of love to give, just in hopes to be loved the same way back!  I was doing it all wrong, I was giving and pouring myself out my whole life into the wrong people.  

 I thought I found my guy and that was it.  We have a family, and we live happily ever after.   But instead, it was pure hell for years and years.  My first bad relationship was with my own family, and I got out just enough to make into a bad marriage with an abusive man.  Then even after I made it out, I got love bombed by a felon who was on probation.  If that was how he was described as maybe I wouldn't have believed everything, but what he showed me for so so long was a whole different man than the man he truly was.  He became more abusive than my ex-husband in a very short time, while one took over a decade, this one took just under three years to become so clear.   After over 35 years, I choose me.  I choose my happiness and my children's happiness.  No more.    So today, I marry myself.  Never will I let someone take over me and put me down like my whole life...