ConfusedHonesty

You say you loved me and made love to me.  You held my hand as we walked, kissed my forehead, and hugged me.  And then the week started and the texts were so far apart, I barely remember even having one complete sentence exchanged.   Then the weekend came, and a whole week later, you turned your phone off in the early evening and shut me out.   We had this great romantic past, where it was life forever, but now we are just THAT..that one maybe physical experience when at your convenience.   But even that isn't valued enough for you to not hurt me, and give me the minimum.  There was actually no need to block me or whatever he truly did.  He'll have a need for his phone again, and now we see he turns on Airplane mode at his convenience anyway.   He isn't friends with me, so he must have a friend or two he's much closer than he is with me at this point. Not real close, but narcissistic close.  And he already shared how he has a Playstation game console that he had a girl

What do I want? I want a job where I can feel good going to!  Where I am valued and appreciated for what I bring to the company.   I want meaningful relationships.  I want a relationship where I can just be myself and be accepted, and have fun.  I am not looking for a father for my kids.  A good company to me would be sufficient.  Now, am I willing to go younger?  Or older? Do I realize that everyone has slept around, and that's seen casually these days?  No one commits or has loyalty they keep...  I want friends for my kids, but how? I get lonely, but I think I can be fine without friends for the most part.  Even though, we as humans, need people.